All I know is that its really frustrating. Clothes included. I am soon going to be 78 years old and hope that there will be a time when I can have time without them before I pass on. I think his obsession with his dog is a little unhealthy, and I wish I had known this before I fell for him. But apparently it was my fault because she walked in front of me while I was looking Ina store window. He walks the dog on one of those telescoping leashes which makes us difficult to walk the dogs together (my dog stays to my left at all times), and last weekend at the park a little girl was running and didnt see the leash and almost fell. Its a change for both of us. In the present day this has stopped now he just pets her and says good night to her. Its difficult for me to understand why anyone would stay in this type of environment. No amount of medical evidence is able to change his mind he is adamant. You cannot compare a dog to a child. I remember telling the dog to get down off the sofa so I could sit next to my husband while he sat in his recliner and him saying to me She was there first! Thats just a very small example. She did the bed thing ONCE in the beginning and I only got one hour sleep and was a wreck the next day and said never again. Theyre not dogs: theyre living gods. Shes also not fixed so when she has her menstrual cycle she will bleed spots all over the home. His pee smells horrible and I recently learned that the smell of wolf urine is so strong that people buy it off the internet to ward off raccoons and possums. So now I find that every time we watch a movie or do anything shes right there on the couch with him while Im the third wheel. If your partner is annoyed by a specific behavior such as excessive scratching, its time to call an expert. My ex-boyfriend, now I think started expected people especially me to act like dogs in the way of unconditional love and no questions asked when my boyfriend wouldact up. First, he wouldnt accept half the things he does but he gets greeted by his dog regardless. I honestly just dont know what to do. I have thought about just waiting it out until he dies but even a couple years of this could seem like a lifetime. Before getting a dog cosnider the training and the money involved and if you cant your selfish. He has an English bulldog that is 6 years old and that Ive just grown to dislike over the years. You can limit it a great deal by daily brushing, but if youve had a pet for years and it is used to certain routines it is very difficult to break them of it without causing even more behavioural problems. I do not sleep in the bed because of itching smell and the constant licking. We do sleep in the same bed, but when she came, she began sleeping in the room with us. I did not even respond to that stupid. After being married 6 months I realized he was married to his dog and I was the third wheel. I watch the dogs all day when my husband is at work. Educate yourself about their shedding: You should have a sufficient awareness regarding whats normal and whats abnormal. I would like to contribute with my personal story about mistakes that we make when we enter a relationship being a pet lover, but also give a word of compassion to those who find themselves in the same situation that I do. Fortunately he does and so the worst thing that happens is a few flecks of grey showing up on black clothes! If you attempt to put him another room, he will whine and cry until let out. She does only what he has allowed all this time because of how his past relationships have gone. My bf make excuses for the dog. Then you need to take action to solve whatever issue the dog has with that promise on your hand, resulting in the husband/boyfriend refusing to get rid of the dog. He showers with the dog!!! I will on my own hide the ball after a significant amount of play time but all that happens is the Boston will run around in desperate and panicked fashion looking for it and my girlfriend will ultimately give it to him. The other issue is she is so lazy with him. for 4 years. No. Husband finds this cute. My SO has had this dog many years before me and my oldest came into the picture which I can understand but I can not understand this lack of control of this dog. Issues with an introduction: Sometimes, the issue with the introduction to other pets. When I finally lose it and ask him to remove her from my room, he goes and sleeps with her in the spare room. The end. I could not reconcile my image of him with such a barbaric act. We are going round in circles and Im stuck in a situation where I love my partner to bits but cant stand his dog and feel its not fair to get rid of her and keep the puggle which might end up in resentment from my partner. It isnt his love for animals it is channeling his anger in the wrong direction. In any case, If something unfortunate happens that probably leads to severe injury of your kids, the responsibility is on you as you are the one who wanna keep the dog with the family. So whether youre young and single, newlywed or together 40 years as I have, take the steps: get off the tube and move out into reality; take the time to read some of the many good books about relationships; consider attending a seminar or two or three; talk with those with experience and seek their council. Its just something that requires compromise and the one I was with wasnt willing to do that and in the end, if shes not willing to compromise there then shes not willing to compromise at life as a real couple. The hair drives me crazy!!!! Dogs are your slaves, respect them, give them tasks, love them and ask that they maintain a respectful dog/owner relationship train them to love commands, train them to be dogs not people. Its crazy, so what do you think is the best thing to do? My house smells like a kennel and is full of fur. I was so upset I started crying and had to call my mom to get it out of my system. This is the exact way I feel. Omg I was so scared and I thought I was going to loose him! True, its not the dogs fault as the animals dont know any better because they are animals. No, I really did not have a clue! So, there is no need to change. Im honestly so angry, what is even more frustrating is he sees no problem with this at all, Im starting to think I will never change his opinion and he will never compromise. Sleep, forget about that too. This morning I got up and fed the crying baby, as I always do, while my husband sleeps. Let me be clear he picked out the dog, it was his idea, and he was very emotional about it. Because that dog doesnt listen at all! Your spouse should be priority #1 without question unless kids are involved then the kids are first priority. For the most part, my partner is a wonderful and loving person. Well this is a problem for me seeing as how I love my dogs so much. Or, as suggested, get a king sized bed that can accommodate you both and the fur baby. I have mild allergies so she irritates my nose when in close proximity not to mention I think a dog in bed is so unsanitary. Most of the dogs in the class were BAD but at the end of the 6 weeks, all the families who did their homework showed significant improvement, and it was inspirational to see the frustration start to melt away on peoples faces (mine included). Even if my back was hurting and I had to use my inhaler all the time. My point is, My wife is cool with me laying some ground rules down because THEY ARE DOGS. Her dog came from a Romanian shelter and they wanted to kill her but she got saved. I should have seen the signs of this before moving in with him :-(. He became like a child to me. I was never happier to get an animal off my back. But, I promised to give you 23 solutions. Getting a dog as a couple can be a really exciting moment in a relationship. The dog comes first and is his preference next to him other than when I am needed. Just to note for you dog lovers out there (not meant in a derogatory way) the dog is just happy, didnt cry, moan or anything at all in the following nights which surprised her. Remember, the more that you can comfortably include your dog in your relationship, the happier you all will be. Animals are pets, not people, and shouldnt be allowed to run the household. You have put it so beautifully. the dogs can sleep there and feel like theyre still in bed with me. So, its better if you can enlist the help of a dog trainer. For example, just the other night he calls her to come back 9 times and then says good girl. Like I was abusing the dog! You and your partner made a promise to love each other not to split for a freaking animal. He isnt even searching for a home for them so I guess Ill have to. I love my husband a lot and Im invested in this marriage, I moved 5000 miles for him, but this is a huge deal for me. And if we just walk to the kitchen its constant begging. My boyfriend has pretty much said choose your dog or me. so I was against them being out there while we eat, I needed peace! It actually is 11 years old but has the energy of a 3 year old. Im worn out and tired. Very affectionate and loving, sheds like a sheep and still pees when we leave for longer than 6 hours. I read about training and raw food and Chihuahuas themselves. WOW!!!!! Hes many times now said I will be gone before the dog. After you fall in love with someone, its kind of a package deal. He was very controlling. Im really thinking I need to end this relationship because we argue about Beau all the time. Now this we very tough for me because my shi-poo was such a sweet dog (he actually became a trained therapy dog bc of his gentle nature), but I found a wonderful home for him (one of my patients sons). He was even nice to my cat and the cat loved being on his lap. Like a lot of you, anything you put in your mouth she expected a piece of it. Im sorry and mad for you, that you had to go through that. I understand your reason for giving away your dog and you are not wrong at all for this. Occasionally if she was let inside too long with out going potty she would have an accident or knock over the trash.. i just feel that a lot of time goes to these animals and thats taking away time from our marriage. It breaks my heart that your husband is being careless and not helping you or his dog. I have always generally preferred animals to people, and I made all of this clear to my husband before we got married. This is something personal to me. I want to focus on our marriage and we want to travel together, I moved to the US for him, so we want to visit my home country regularly and also visit other places. Im sticking to my guns. I didnt realize you responded so quick. You, and those like you, anthropomorphize human feelings onto dogs. As I feel she does not care for it properly and number 1, it is not my pet and when I started caring for the dog she completely quit and the dog was becoming my responsibility. It barks at you when you seek to embrace her because it is telling you that your girl friend is its piece of property. Normally, I should feel that i cant wait to have our own place, but not now. Its an everyday task and some days even more difficult and Im hoping some god in the universe gives me the strength and tolerance to overcome this situation. Take the high road and start showing a little more love all around. Finally I was able to get a good night sleep without those dogs jumping on and off the bed, and dirty smell everywhere. Its made me realize that Im not alone and that I dont have to see my boyfriends dog like a human the way he does. And they poop and pee in the house every day and he espects me to be okay with it! It wont change believe me. It happened too many times. They need structure, like getting food and walks at the same time every day, and they should not be rewarded for bad behavior, like begging, with getting food, petted, etc. to help and support them in ways that animals cannot. I am so glad that I bumped into this forum. Its the ultimate narcissism: other people will never reflect back perfectly, but dogs (pack animals with an instinct to) might, and computer games (programmed for exactly that purpose) also might. Another option is to invest a couple hundred in an amazing dog bed (the kind with a real mattress). Then, throwing that dog into a two (or more) person household, after having had the obsession/attention of their owner for so long, is a recipe for disaster. I guess I am just talking out of my a**, but it just seems easier if I was alone and maybe find someone who doesnt have a dog and actually thinks the way I do. I really like this girl, and I overheard her tell my friends fiancee one night that she can see herself marrying me and hopes I propose to her within two years. Because she looks sad. I also find myself sleeping alone every night while the dog sleeps with him. My dog, for being aggressive. He even refers to her as his child. I had ran inside to go grab a towel. The dog will poo and pee, I refuse to live like that. I remarried a man with a huge female Labrador Retriever. I take care of him for the most part but he also takes him out when hes going out anyways. Either way, that puppy probably should find a new home. Without hurting your feelings she doesnt sound like your soulmate. I dont have children and they have filled that void in my life. I want the dog trained to be all right to be outside for longer periods of time in anticipation of trying to manage twins as they develop and also need floor space. And he was totally inflexible by saying that he wouldnt give up sleeping with his precious Mesa for anything. He said his reason is is that he doesnt make a big production out of it. Now, we are back to this point where I have been bit by this dog now twice, she doesnt listen to me what so ever, refuses to eat unless its my wife who feeds her and Im nowhere around, is right there by my wifes side no matter what if shes not outside on her chain. I thought Id be okay with having a dog in the house, but I am not adjusting well. He knows I cant stand and absolutely I know Id never get a dog now even if he said I could, because I know hed hate it. He has appeared on his own TV show, been a guest radio expert, gives seminars, publishes a dog related blog, does rescue volunteering, and is active in promoting animal welfare and fair dog laws. My first dog was older when they met and therefore very sedate, the second dog. So I am left with training the dog, feeding her, taking her out etc..and Training her has been very hard on me. When I do though I will immediately recall moments during the two year courtship where I was driven crazy by her dog and by her lack of discipline. Sometimes I think Americans have went insane. Sounds like your partner is a narcissist, please join a narcissist support group on Facebook and check for yourself. Yes I agree by going to another room she chose him over you. i wanted to embark on a new relationship, and instead of prevented from doing so, because of the current interference from the cat. I dont feel like she likes him anymore.. )When were in bed trying to go to sleep the dog sits in your face and stares for literally an hour. She was prescribed Zovirax, which she takes whenever it starts to head it off or lessen it. Idk what to do or say anymore.. I Dont care for the slobbering ones myself, but owner should wipe their mouths around company esp. Someone please tell me, how do people deal with the pet hair and mess and smell?! Or who knows, you may both find the break refreshing and a great opportunity to experience a human love relationship more fully, even to the point of extending the dogs vacation. The counselor said, it isnt you. If you think a lifetime trait will change like that when hes shown hes not willing to change, then you are delusional. It is causing me great inner turmoil and I would never ask him to give the dog away. I dealt with it 2 months, I felt like I didnt matter. Help or please commiserate with me. I am not having any more children and I wanted a little dog to cuddle with and love on and sour in my lap. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Besides her annoying habits such as constantly licking the floor, and herself, scratching any closed doors whenever she feels like it, etc, she was allowed by my husband to sleep in bed with us, even during my pregnancy while the smell of her would make me sick. Some people attempt to get rid of their dogs as they discover a health issue in their dogs, especially if it is rigorous. I now have one foot out the door unless he is willing to accept my compromise or come up with some equally durable plan. Then she lays with him in the bed and he cuddles With her and not me. I had an old gal Boxer when I married my husband. It barks constantly and urinates all over if not crated when no one is home and chews up my Gfs socks and underwear if given the chance. Thats unsanitary! Which is also why I hate being woken up at night, given my already short sleeping hours. In one day the house is covered in long and short wiry pubey looking black hairs and its absolutely everywhere. I did a huge mistake by overlooking a huge red flag, but I dont regret adopting the cat. I live in Germany, so sorry if my gramma isnt so good. I just dont know what to do anymore. I live my dog and I live my husband. Husband/boyfriend does. He just said to his wife, Now you know what Jake went through. Just wow! He doesnt want to get rid of the dogs even though Ive calmly discussed how hes putting his feelings before mine & care more about his desire. ie, Sorry, I cant go out, I have to let my dog out. My bf hasnt traveled in 5 yrs, and barely leaves the house all due to his dog. Lastly, they tried to give me the third degree when I said that we crate our dog when we have visitors. This dog has become spoiled. You would be cruel to the dog, and still have an irresponsible ah for a boyfriend. My last dog would just walk with her tail dragging behind her, down the hallway, and go lay down in her own bed on the floor. I dont want him to be miserable for the sake of me getting what I want. I have said I do not want the dog in bed but it goes ignored. Bathe the dog on a regular basis. I just want to say that I see both sides here. I adopted a rescue from New York City who has been diagnosed with FELV. One of each. Im 51 years old and we have been together for nearly 30 of those, i still sexually find her atractive and dont want to go! But its never too late to get up on your feet, face the reality, and march forward. I keep joking saying I want to get rid of her and he hows back hell get rid of me but Im partially not joking. No amount of communication with my husband has resolved this issue and i refuse to compromise over my health. Your GF is obviously favoriting her dog while mistreating yours which I find a little weird. But also, I dont want to resent the dog because of his actions because that isnt fair to her. Let me get to it. On the other hand, Im assuming that the dog isnt vicious, meaning the dog is extremely dangerous because it is medically unwell and cant be cured. Your allergies seem much more extreme but I have minor allergies to my boyfriends dog and it makes my nose itch its so frustrating. recently broke up but live together. Last night, we had an argument about it because she put the dog on my pillows and then cheered him on (she thought it was funny and did as a joke per her view) and got upset because i told her she was reinforcing the idea that its ok to sleep there (which it is most def not) so then she got upset, picked up the dog and slept in the guest room with him. Calls her to come back 9 times and then says good night to her my system the! Without question unless kids are involved then the kids are involved then the kids are involved then kids. We got married be clear he picked out the door unless he is adamant half things... 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